Coming out is hard, actually

Black backpack with rainbow colored zipper traces. The backpack leans against a tree.
I’m sorry, but for now this is all I dare to show of my queerness in real life.

It is 23:30 o’clock, I can’t sleep, and there’s this blog post idea that’s been sitting at the back of my mind for a few days: Coming out is hard, really hard, actually.

I’m open about being bisexual/pansexual, sometimes grayish asexual, and I recently published that I’m a non-binary person. But that’s all online. I don’t know why it’s so much easier for me to tell hundreds of people on Twitter about my queerness, than to talk to a single person in real life. There’s literally one friend I could bring myself to talk to, a friend I very deeply trust and respect. Even that cost me quite the effort.

Funnily enough, my most popular tweet (as of the time of writing) has over 100 likes, thousands of views, and sparked an interesting and civilized debate. It was in response to another tweet and goes like this:

That’s exactly why I’m not very open about being non-binary. Not only do Germany and the German language have no real concept of non-binary people. I’m also afraid of any repercussions from coming out in real life. It’s like making myself into a prime target for whatever 😕

Tweet by @mvsde, written on 2021-08-22 at 07:02 AM.

Short side note: italicized emojis look weird. Browsers shouldn’t apply faux italics to images, which emojis kind of are. Luckily there’s a handy CSS rule called font-synthesis that can be set to none.

Whoops, I guess I wandered a bit from the actual subject. Let’s conclude this rambling blog post somehow!

People who follow me on social media probably know that I’m queer.

People who don’t, don’t.

Will they ever? I sure hope I’ll someday get my act together and “publicly” state my queerness (talking to all my friends and family… oh dear… don’t panic, just keep the anxiety level bearable). On the positive side of things: I love my new backpack and maybe it’ll lead to conversations all on its own.