Panic

In light of the looming disaster that is going to be the 2025 German federal election on 23 February, I’m finally writing a blog post I’ve been pondering about for a while. It’s related to my 2022 post Angst but explores a new angle I haven’t felt comfortable talking about 3 years ago.

I’ve been experiencing panic attacks for at least a decade now. I know the most common triggers, know how to smooth out the worst spikes, and in general I can prevent most attacks from happening in the first place because I can feel them coming.

But dealing with panic attacks has a significant cost in energy; there’s a necessary recovery period afterward to charge up the batteries again. This usually works out. Emphasis on usually.

When the hits are coming harder and closer together, the battery might not be full enough to take the edge out of the next panic attack. That’s when things are breaking down – things meaning mental and physical well-being. The recovery time after that is going to be even longer.

This all is happening in a world where the far right is growing stronger by the day. The US is just the latest example where a coup by right-wing extremists is in full swing. Germany is getting a far-right chancellor sometime in the next couple of months. Who knows what’s going to happen with Ukraine now that both Putin and Trump are onboard with doing a neocolonialism?

I have to admit, the chilling effect of right-wing propaganda and actions has already started altering my behavior. I’m more attentive when walking the streets, looking out for Nazi threats. I think about what clothing doesn’t paint a giant target on my back to avoid confrontation.

Though, I’m most worried about the far right getting access to key areas of political and public institutions. What’s going to happen when they take over can be witnessed in real time in the US. The far right will come for everyone, starting with immigrants and refugees, Black, indigenous, and people of color, disabled people, queer people, and women.

It’s going to take decades to unwind the damage the far right is currently inflicting. We can only hope for future generations to make better political decisions. Because there’s also a climate crisis going on right now. You haven’t forgotten that, have you?