The story behind my name

The ministry and the name rules

I did not plan to change or add to my name.

When the Selbstbestimmungsgesetz (self-identification law) was passed in April 2024, I thought about just changing my legal gender. It would’ve been an easy choice since the legal gender entry isn’t all that relevant in day-to-day use anyways, as the Higher Regional Court Frankfurt ruled in 2022. There is of course nuance to this, for example when it comes to gender quotas in politics and workplaces. But generally speaking, the legal gender entry isn’t invoked that often; it isn’t even printed on the German national identity card.

Then the Bundesinnenministerium (BMI, ministry of the interior) released guidance for Standesämter (civil registry offices) on how to handle given name changes. The law itself is vague, it only requires that names fit the new gender entry. The BMI’s guidance added limitations: One can only choose as many given names as one had before and those who choose a non-binary gender entry need a non-gendered name.

The outcry from the queer community came swift, after all the new law is about loosening rules and self-identification. Immediately restricting the new freedom goes against the ethos of the law. Ultimately, the civil registry offices would have to decide what they consider aligned with the law, but it’s only natural they follow guidance from the BMI.

I started to plan for the situation where I would have to change my given name. I made a list with a handful of names I like and floated them around my brain for a while to see which one I prefer.

And then the BMI changed guidance again. The rules are now similar to the earlier ones, names still have to fit the new gender entry. But non-binary people essentially get a free pass and don’t have to choose a gender-ambiguous name. Importantly, one other rule changed: No more restrictions on number of names, one can choose as many given names as one likes (up to 5, the general limit for given names in Germany).

How I landed on Fynn Ellie

So, I had a list with a few names which I could in theory discard because I no longer had to change my given name when choosing the diverse legal gender entry. Though by this time, I was already growing fond of the idea of adding to my name. From the beginning it was clear that I wanted to keep Fynn at the start of my given name. But which name to put in second place?

I whittled down the list of potential names to only 2 entries, thinking this would make the choice easier. It did not. I made the final call the day before I had my appointment with the civil registry office.

But why Ellie? In short, the name means a lot to me because of the video game The Last of Us, where one of the protagonists is named Ellie. I consider The Last of Us Part I and II to be one of the greatest game series ever made, telling a thought-provoking and beautiful story while taking full advantage of the interactive medium for unexpected twists and turns.

The character is voiced and acted by Ashley Johnson, a woman I consider a role model for how to overcome personal struggles and bring joy to people. Go check out the actual play tabletop role-playing series Critical Role; Ashley brings so much heart and soul to the table in her own unique and quirky way.

Then we got the HBO TV show adaptation of The Last of Us, starring Bella Ramsey. A non-binary person portraying Ellie, one of my favorite fictional characters, in a show that prominently features queer people. Representation y’all, it really matters.

And there we have it, the name Ellie has meaningful layers for myself, my queerness, and it’s a beautiful name. Add my previous given name Fynn and we get to the decidedly non-binary combination Fynn Ellie.

Also, don’t ask about the other names on my list, I won’t tell you.