The Sanctuary

Scene from Star Trek: Discovery. The non-binary human Adira Tal and the trans man Gray Tal play some sort of sci-fi board game in a dimly lit room aboard a starship.
Star Trek: Discovery Season 4 Episode 6 “Stormy Weather” by StarTrek.com.

I’ve written quite a lot about my queer journey, but the spark that started it all is still missing on this blog. So, let’s get into that, it involves one of my favorite things: Star Trek!

4 December 2020

Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 8 “The Sanctuary” is airing in Germany.

In that episode a key moment between Adira Tal and Paul Stamets takes place in which Adira comes out to Stamets as a non-binary person:

Um, ‘they’, not–not ‘she’. I've never felt like a ‘she’ or–or a ‘her’, so I would prefer ‘they’ or ‘them’ from now on.

— Adira Tal played by Blu del Barrio

The moment is so wonderfully heartfelt, and I literally started crying tears of joy because for the first time ever I’ve seen myself represented in media. Adira has the same quirky, nerdy, and introverted energy as me. Them coming out as a non-binary person triggered something in me and I started questioning my gender for real. I always felt there was something off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until that moment.

I didn’t switch to they/them pronouns overnight, though. It took another three quarters of a year or so for me to let go of the “he”. In that time, I discovered a lot more non-binary people, especially in the developer community on Twitter. Yet another reason why I always liked Twitter despite the obvious chaos that platform is.